Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Overcoming the barrier: Communication with others who don't have Attention Deficit

To say it's a struggle would be an understatement. But sometimes? Sometimes, it's not even a problem. Talking with others about any learning disorder that you might have and they don't can be frustrating, and probably a huge reason why many of us would rather not even try. Because really, how many times has your faulty wiring written off as a petty excuse for lesser performance? It can be tiring, but more than anything those experiences can change how we approach others until we have made the problem worse. But how can this lack of perspective be changed?

First things first, it's time to admit to yourself: you're not the same as this person, and that's okay. You're probably not like a lot of people (or anyone really) and that's something really great about being human. However, the two of you can probably agree on many things and find common ground. With that all in mind, you can really connect.

The social skills of myself and others I've met with attention deficit disorder are shaky, but we're usually rather open to others and certainly friendly! But with my mile-a-minute talking speed and lack of "in the moment" thinking can make conversations with me more someone being talked at and talked over, or harder to get ideas through to me.Of course I try to tone myself down, but when the subject becomes touchy or personal it becomes harder to disregard emotions and listen to reason. Because hey, I'm totally making a good point, how could I simply hold it in right now? It's so much more effort to push down the self-centered personal expression but I know when I'm trying to let someone understand a concept the effort will be worthwhile. It's certainly a bad hand to be dealt when others can't understand your shortcomings and differences, and when those hinder your attempts to get them understanding, well, that can make you wanna pull your hair out. You have to really push yourself on the self-awareness front more than usual.

I think taking time to prepare conversations can be a good thing, if it's not stressing you out. Take some time to be honest with how it feels for you to handle everything as a whole, and where you want this person or other people to understand most.

And of course, take time to express how you really feel! So let me ask you-how do you handle the frustrating communication that can come with ADD or ADHD? Let me know in the comments below!

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